My Accidental Side Hustle: Product Recommendations
As many of my personal and work friends know, when I ventured off on my own as a fractional consultant, I had a built-in client. Unfortunately, not a paying client, despite the need for a ‘fraction’ of my marketing and operations expertise each week.
That non-paying client is my elderly mother - a situation I inherited with the passing of my father in 2021. You can catch up on this story in the previous blog post I wrote about how to get started when taking on this turn in the circle of life.
Shortly after my father passed it became evident that my mother would need to be moved to a smaller residence. My siblings and I considered a number of options like a condo or townhouse with a doorman and security to senior communities, we opted for an assisted living residence. However, convincing my mother was another story.
The new place would need to be perfect - as in finding a place that my mother would not immediately react to, turn around and insist on going back home. Incidentally, I will mention here that you will need to have the option of going back home, thus if you move a parent to a new location make sure to hold off on selling the house for a few months so you can allow time for the adjustment and acceptance of a new lifestyle.
Back to the search. We toured several locations and luckily each was within a 15 mile radius of the house. One of the locations was just under a mile from the house, it was a brand new build. They showed us the model, a large two bedroom, two bath apartment with a full kitchen and a double lanai - we knew immediately it was an ideal floor plan and it just felt right with its high ceilings and corner location with only one adjoining wall that was in the second bedroom. I would just need to decorate it seamlessly to meet her expectations. I soon came to the conclusion that just decor would not be enough, I had to build in features that would make the old house feel less modern. In addition to the furniture that was arranged to be brought from the house, I would need to build in several elements that would not only automate her life, but make her feel even more secure than the house was at that time. And as she aged, this would be and continues to be an ever evolving process.
I consistently discover new items that are necessary to help her in keeping her quality of life high and safe. Some of these purchases are on rotation, some are one time purchases and others are new discoveries that have been super helpful as her mobility and self sustaining abilities decline.
To date, I have a list of items which I offer below with the links. I have found Amazon to not only be the most convenient way to locate these items, but also the most expedited way especially when these items are somewhat urgent for her care. Here are the top proven items I recommend for parental oversight, security and care in the home.
Let’s start with some items recommended by the doctors that are important to have in the house and to use regularly. From occupational needs to mental health. While the assisted living residence offers a ton of community programs from brain activities to physical movement classes some things are necessary for your parents to do on their own. One activity recommended by the neurologist is doing 3-5 puzzles a day from the book below. It takes about 10 minutes and will help with memory care.
Mental Fitness Book recommended by Neurologist
Blood Pressure Monitor - large print
Having a blood pressure monitor in the home is key and should be used daily.
LegXercise Pro
I saw a commercial for this leg mover and thought it would be good for my mom to do daily. It sits in the guest room. While it doesn’t move quickly, at least it promotes circulation.
Wireless Knee Massager
My mother has swelling and arthritis in her knee, I found this on Amazon to assist with pain relief and help with mobility.
Incontinence Pads
Helpful for overnight reassurance against leaks with Depends and other pull ups. A home health nurse told me that these are good for night time so there isn’t a need for frequent changes of depends which can disrupt their sleep.
Absorbent underwear
While Depends are the popular brand, I found that these can be a bit better especially as they get more susceptible to UTIs in their older age.
Bed Liners
In addition to the disposable, absorbent underwear - these are a good idea for overnight protection and not having to change the sheets. As well, on days that they are less able to get out of bed, it's a good way to freshen up the bed when they get up to use the bathroom. Funny aside here, there was a day that we ran out of these and I ran to Target to find more - looking in pet supplies, I found puppy pads and I found them to be even more effective.
Neck/Shoulder heating pad
Similar to the knee massager, this will help with neck and headaches. I also find that as my mother ages, she has more issues with posture and this will relieves some of the pains that result from it.
Safe Corner Covers
Unfortunately, as parents age what cannot be avoided is that they will fall, and it will occur often. The key is to make sure that with these falls that they do not hit their head or break a hip as both are extremely difficult to recover from. All falls are a terrible event, but some just result in bruises or shaken nerves. For insurance, making sure there are grab bars for stability wherever there are stairs, in several locations throughout the bathroom and in some rooms is also key. And, doing a sweep throughout their bedroom and bathroom to make sure there are no sharp corners is also a good idea. In my mom’s case, she has very little furniture in her bedroom, there is carpet on the bedroom floor and there is a clear path from the bed to the bathroom. I also went back and placed padding on the corners of her bedside table to make sure there was no way she would come in contact with a sharp surface should she lose balance.
Walker
Drive makes the best walker products for aging adults. This one in particular was recommended by my moms internist.
Stand Assist Rails for Couch
The occupational therapist recommended that we purchase these for the couch. My mother hated the way it looked so we returned it, but it is pretty ingenious as a way to help with leverage to get up from furniture that does not have handles. One thing we did need to make sure of is purchasing chairs with handles. I found a great set from Staples and bought four to have throughout the house. They need as much leverage as possible as activating leg and core strength becomes harder with age.
Shower Caddy
Not much of a new invention but the height of this with the built in shower bench worked well to easily access items needed.
Toilet Stability
While this may seem a bit much at first, this becomes a really important item as they age. Not only the rails to get up and down, but the height it provides to make sitting easier. It also doubles later as a bedside commode which is something they will need eventually. The cleaning is a bit of a hassle, but there are accessories sold that help.
Updated version is here, this one has even more stability than the convertible option.
LED Flashlight Night Light with motion sensor
Hands down this became the smartest investment. These motion sensor night lights provide a sense of security for lighting areas in the middle of the night, but also to provide light when someone enters the room. As well, they can be removed easily from the port and used as a flashlight should the power go out. The night care people love these lights as they also don’t startle your parent while they are in bed, but may call for assistance at night.
Item Grabber
Another key item to prevent falls. Using these grabbers instead of bending over to pick something up will prevent that rush of dizziness that affects balance resulting in falls. They are pretty strong and will pick up most household and personal items from the floor.
Touch Lamp
Similar to the motion sensor lights, this little light provides a lot of comfort and ease for parents. It’s just enough light to be able to get into the bed and then with a quick tap will go out. There are also 3 different hues and it can act as an overnight nightlight should one be needed.
Big backlit calendar with day, daypart and time display
“What day is today?” “What’s the date today” and “What time is it - morning or night?” Becomes the toddler version of “WHY?” to the older generation, driving caretakers and family members crazy moment after moment. This handy big print, talking information box is like gold!
In the end, with impeccable decor, showcasing the art collection my parents curated and having these items listed here in place - convincing my mother to stay was not an issue. I painstakingly set up the apartment to be turnkey from day one. She loved that it felt both brand new and familiar. Within six months, we sold the old house and she just celebrated her 2 year anniversary in this new home, not missing the house of 50+ years one bit. While she has aged and had some falls, her health continues to remain stable and her living arrangement supports her in the process. I continue to discover new items to also support her in this environment and stage of her life - items that I will continue to share, to help others that find themselves in this same role. And by ‘others in this same role’, I mean those that suddenly find themselves to be the caretakers of their parents, as I have found myself to be.
